I am rubbish.
Me and Claire went to a sawnky private viewing at the Tate Modern (oo look at us, actually wasn’t that private or swanky. Needed a special invite thing, but seeming 94 million people had them, and they all had smart clothes on)
Anyhow, afterwards we figured a nice Pizza Express on the South Bank would be a nice thing.
So we went in.
There was no “please wait here to be seated” sign as there normally is in other swanky eateries like Pizza Hut, Beefeater and Harvester so we stepped a bit forward toward the bar where some waiter was talking to someone.
Right behind us, through the swivelly doors came about 9 other people, all from the Tate i think. They stood by the door and another waiter came down asking the various groups what they were after. Various cries of tables for two could be heard.
The waiter sat most of them, but told the last pair that they had to wait. Now what should we do, had we been pushed in ahead of, or did our meandering make it our own fault?
Do we try to push back in?
I thought it would be best (well, not best, but safest) to go outside, walk round the block and come back. The social etiquette version of control + alt + delete and force a restart.
A few minutes later we were back at the correct place and being seated in the noisy upstairs bit and not the nice downstairs bit where all the others went.
We sat at our table for four, not sure wether to sit adjacent or opposite, oh the decisions.
After 15 mins or so I was getting moody, no one had come to serve us, it was very busy. I reckoned we should just up sticks and leave, find another Pizza Express in this crazy town.
As I was actually getting out my phone to google the nearest one. really getting angry, coat was almost on. As I was about to stand up a waiter came to take our order.
I immediately, in a nanosecond, said “Oh lovely, I’ll have capricossa please”
I hate myself
Later, when the Pizza had arrived I was disappointed with the low number of anchovies, I’m in my late twenties, I’ve just developed a taste for them and I want to catch up.
I was actually saying “There are only three on here” when the waiter came up and said “is everything ok”. I smiled and said yes, it was delicious.
You know when I just said I hate myself? I hate myself more now.
And the mystical Pizza Express waiters, they must have microphones on the tables, listening for discontent.