Another week, another art class, and finally we were dealing with painting, like I’d always wanted.
More specifically, primary colours. Now, in terms of doing painting I don’t know any of the colour theory shit, I just slap it on, realise its shit, try again getting slightly less shit each time until finally it’s a brown mess, or slightly not shit.
We were told to bring paints in the primary colours (red, yellow and blue to those reading that are under five) and were given an A4 print out with a wheel on to colour in, like what five year olds get.
but I was doing remarkably less well than a five year old. My red, despite actually being called “primary red” was kinda pink. The yellow had run out totally . But the blue was fucking great.
I was very tired after a weekend away and was being a bit too groggy this morning, I swizzled the brush tainted with cleaned the shitty red paint but then realised I had nothing to wipe it on. Everyone else (as ever) seemed far more organised, with paints that had the colours in them that it said on them, jars for water, more than two brushes (I had brought only two, both massive) and kitchen roll.
I knew that no one would begrudge me a couple of squares, but felt all too tired and fragile to ask and so just stared at the now wet brush, trying to wring it out with my fingers and in the process getting non red red water all over me.
I eventually succumbed and asked someone for some kitchen roll, then only took two squares and spent the rest of the lesson rationing myself.
and this kitchen roll was no Bounty.
I painted on some of the blue, it looked good. Such a good blue.
Then the yellow, only I’d run out and so was leant some more by the teacher, feeling like the like the fool of the class again I accepted the yellow paint only to find it was all sticky and shit.
I threw it into my colour wheel. It looked oddly blue (a very nice blue, mind you). It was now looking like a big mess, I’d only put the primary colours in, and not even started mixing, and yet the colours on my page where not the same.
Do you ever have those days where your brain is just making you more stupid than you actually are?
I just stared some more, feeling that kind of helplessness that those kids in class that always got things wrong and then just stared into space must have felt.
I wanted to go home, is that allowed?
I was then told that the wheel should have taken minutes and I should have been well on the way of the next task, to paint a skeleton (or part of one) using only primary colours, the yellow for the highlights, red for the midtones and the lovely, lovely blue for the other one… shadows?
I was leant some proper red and I started, as ever having grandiose ideas to what I was going to end up with, but somehow just drawing what looked like a very colourful shit on my page.
The teacher was going round giving everyone “Well done’s” and “I like what you’ve done here’s” and I just got a “hmm” again.
I aborted my leg and went for the pelvis, that obvious bit of bone that is a unique shape, it was so bad he asked me which bit I was drawing.
We did the gathering round and looking at everyone’s stuff and I just hid at the back looking in wonderment at everyone elses, just using primary colours can be great, but my brain just won’t make that connection.
I sulked home, on the way over the park I slipped and fell over in the slight mud, a proper wipeout, but felt lucky that I hadn’t hurt myself, esp with this marathon training to be getting on with.
then, after dusting myself down, I took a step and fell over again. Hurting my leg a bit.
Grr.
That’s the last art class yarn for a while, two weeks left of the term but some other comedy type work has had to take over from bettering myself (or making myself feel shitterer). Can enrol for the next term, but aside from obvious entertainment and standup material reasons I’m not sure I can see much point.
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I’m running the marathon for mind – it’s going to hurt (but be funny) please donate some of that money stuff here http://uk.virginmoneygiving.com/terrysaunders