I’ve been trying to be healthy again, I’ve been going for runs, eating fruit and not drinking copious amounts of beer.
I’ve been doing situps and star jumping and even thinking about contemplating going swimming.
So you think nature would be on my side “Yeah, well done Terry, be like the squirrels, lean and fit and not eating burgers”
I bought an apple from the Marks & Spencers near my flat the other day. You know, Posh food place, the one where Twiggy eats, she’s thin, and old.
At the checkout I noticed there was a bit of a blemish on the apple (unlike Twiggy who is PERFECT, according to people). It had a bit of a black blob on one side.
I figured it would be ok.
Last night after going to see a film (Paper Heart, go see it, it’s great) and eating some food (wagamamas, go eat there, it’s great) I thought I’d eat my apple in a bit of yoghurt.
I bought some ultra cheap ultra low fat set yoghurt from the shop for 49p.
When I opened it it looked all lumpy and off, claire assured me that set yoghurt always looked off. I figure it’s like having an ugly friend.
I thought I’d slice off the black bit of apple first. So I did, there was a little hole further in, I figured it might have been a maggot, sometimes you see little worm or maggot holes in fruit, saying they’d been there. But hey, we’re all adults here, nothing to be freaked out by here is there?
I cut some more.
the hole went deeper, right to the pippy bit. I looked into the pips.
And there it fucking was
A wriggling maggotty worm thing, still alive, and wriggling.
I apologise for being a wuss, but I freaked a little and a few minutes later it and the rest of its apple were down the rubbish chute.
It didn’t seem quite as cheery as when they exist in cartoonland. And I forgot to even think about taking a picture for the fancy new header of this here blog.
In the split seconds after finding it I got angry with Twiggy, how could a place that likes to advertise food being sexily dripped onto other food sell me a maggot?
Then I calmed down, it was nature, it probably freaked out more having a knife cutting his home up then a bearded man screaming at it.
I over-reacted, afterwards I ate a banana and an orange in lumpy yoghurt, and felt sick during Jonathan Ross