I had to buy some food, in a shop. So far, so good. There is a Marks & Spencers over the road from my flat. I went in to buy some bread and milk like the humble man/hedgehog I am.
I was listening to my ipod, but I’m not a rude type and i take the little earphones out of my ears when I get to the checkout.
As I’m trying to stuff some cheese in my coat pocket (I’d bought it fair and square, only i neglected to bring a bag with me) the earphones fell from their delicate purchase on my shoulder and clattered to the metal surface.
The checkout man asked me what I was listening to. I genuinely faltered before replying.
The truth was I was listening to a band called Tunng, they are truly wonderful and I couldn’t recommend them highly enough. If I was a better person I would have just said “Tunng, they are truly wonderful and I can’t recommend them enough” but I felt it unlikely that this man, working in this branch of Marks & Spencers would know of their work and I’d probably have to re-pronounce Tunng a couple of times to get the double n across.
So I just said it was on shuffle (a lie) and I didn’t know who it was (another lie). I think he thought I was lying. He said you must know who it is. I said not necessarily – I’d raided my girlfriends and her brothers music collections (both true – but I think slightly illegal – so for legalities sake I am lying in this blog about that).
So then he asked again who it was, so I said the Rolling Stones (a lie). this seemed to please him, he asked if I had any Hendrix, I said yes, but only a best of (very true) then he asked if I had any Pink Floyd – I said yes because it seemed like the right thing to say, but, suffice to say, it was a lie.
I think I might stop going to M&S.