In the last few weeks I have had a woman who looks a bit like Michael Schumacher finger my root canal and a stern woman try to pull my skull off via my teeth.
But today it was all worth it, my last visit until the dentists forever (apparently my teeth are now so good I don’t even need six month checkups).
A last half hour spell with the hygienist.
We’d grown friendly (not in that way) with a bit of chit chat here and there, then she would marvel at my teeth (yes, marvel… this never happens to me) saying things along the lines of “You wouldn’t have thought it was the same mouth that walked in here all those weeks ago”
I felt a bit odd, wanting to point out that actually the mouth was attached to the rest of me, and it was my legs and brain that forced the motuh in here, without even its express permission.
But if you have a calling in life to be a hygienist then IÂ guess you do start to see people as just giant walking mouths, so really I suppose I am just one big giant walking (at this point sitting) mouth.
Let the scraping commence
Only this time there wasn’t that much scraping and skull pulling, she was done, all the plaque that had lived in my mouth for so long had finally been given its marching orders and were now swilling down the swirly sink with some of my blood.
I would like to know if I am alone in feeling that I have to swill all the water in the little cup – I always do.
I got up to go and she said an odd thing, she said “It’s people like you that make this job worth it”.
I felt proud, and pathetic at the same time.
Maybe when I look back on my life this may be my only achievment, making someone who pictures people as giant mouths happy.
I went and ate some sugar to compensate
Did she have endless amounts of ‘Where’s Wally’ posters dotted
around the ceiling?