Back to the nice Bethnal Green dentist again today, this time to see the hygienist.
The dentist had impressed me with her black bit scraping the other day and I was keen for my first batch of proper plaque free teeth for the first time in years.
My only real concern was that the dentist had told me that the hygienist does all this and not her because she has all the right tools – is this the only qualification to being a hygienist? I don’t want no hobbyist who’s bought a set off QVC.
I waited in the waiting room, as is my wont.
Someone else was having their teeth scraped and they had chosen to listen to U2. What kind of person adds to the tooth pain by listening to bloody Bono? I hadn’t realised I could choose music, I had nothing with me. Oh well, next time.
I was eventually called in. The first thing I saw were her tools, and I’ll be honest, I was disappointed. They didn’t look like gleaming dentist type tools, but plastics things with metal scrapers on the end, they looked more like the scrapey things I had with my copper etching set when I was nine. the thing were you scratch off the black to reveal the copper underneath, it was supposed to be a tiger, but by the time I’d finished it looked like speaker wire.
there was no music choice, the U2 wasn’t for me, it was for her. what kind of sadist is this?
but I guess it was doing the same job, scraping to reveal my tiger like teeth (I don’t know what this means either).
She was a nice hygienist, until she asked when I’d last been, I said ages, (well, not said, her hands were in my mouth, I actually said “gwfrgges”) And she patronised me with a “Couldn’t afford it when you were a student and have never come back?”
I was slightly annoyed. I was never at university, I wasn’t a rich mummy student and I’ve not been to one of these people before cos the nasty Soho man told me it would be a trillion pounds. So I told her with dignity and humility that it was because I was stuck in the trap of working but earning too much to get free benefit teeth, but not enough to afford them (well, I actually said “gnwffrghsr”)
the scraping commenced. it was odd, but not all that bad, I had to hold the sucky thing and I saw blood and bits going down the green tube. When she started with a whirry scraper, but then moved on to the copper etching kit. She dug the metal prong in the gap of me teeth and then tried to pull my head off.
It wasn’t pleasant.
But now the bottom set are done
They are white (nearly)
No black bits, not yellow bits, and I can feel the inside of my teeth again.
This is fun