Sometime ago I vested a nasty almost Victorian backstreet dentalist in Soho. It was the first time I’d visited a man of such profession in many many years.
He was horrible and he scared me a bit.
He also told me that the work I needed would feature dental techniques such as Root Canal, Fillings, a Crown and Extraction and it would cost a pretty merry £2,000.
I would like something like a nice new telly or maybe a holiday in the Bahamas or a hoverbath or something.
I don’t purchase these things because I don’t normally have £2,000 in loose change. And I have very bad credit, so despite the teeth being important and not getting another set (unless, as I have always suspected, I really am sharkboy). So I ran away from the dentalist in achy teeth screams. This £2,000 was the NHS dentist in Soho. Therefore that is the NHS price. therefore I am fucked.
But my teeth hurt, they bleed when I brush them and just lately little black bits have started to appear on them. I am no tooth fairy but I reckon little black bits are probably not the sign of healthy teeth.
So with the real actual fear that my teeth were going to fall out and limited funds in my pocket from my night shift work I figured it about time to go and take the £2,000 plunge, or at least a bit of it.
a friend had recommended me a dentist in Bethnal Green where they are nice. Nice dentists are as rare as NHS ones so I figured I go with them
And this is where I found myself this afternoon.
The dentist called me in, she was a woman and seemed nice, but women can be deceiving, that is their wont.
She had an accent that I couldn’t place, but it sounded very similar to Michael Schumacher, so I presumed she was a german. On second look she also looked a bit like the seven times world champion, winning 96 Grands Prix (yes, that’s the plural, I am a nerd) means she probably has steady hands and enough money to not want to rip me off.
the first fear was assuaged when she told me that the black bits were merely plaque, and demonstrated by scraping one off – the relief was fucking immeasurable.
She said I’d need some fillings, five in all, and that root canal on my old broken tooth was required. I looked a bit sad at her, hoping my puppy dog eyes could glare through her steely gaze. And I guess they did, she worked out the NHS prices and told me that I’d only have to pay for the hygienist and to go private on one white filling for the big nasty broken tooth.
So for the NHS fillings it would cost me £40. “Per filling?” I presumed. No, she meant for all five. The private white filling was £90 and the hygienist was £40 a pop to see her twice. Then the crazy bitch took off the price of the examination I’d already paid, I get that refunded.
So all in all it was a little over £200.
this is quite a saving.
I am relieved.
For now