cinema yesterday, round to a friends for dinner today. I’m becoming the kind of person I hate.
Drinks were drunk, smokes were smunk asparagus was aunk… nevermind.
Now, Claire knew this fact. Facts are good for dinner party type events, it whiles away the awkward conversation. Apparently the world record for eating cream crackers is something ridiculous like three. This came up becuase there were some cream crackers on the table
so we tried.
Three is no record. We knew we didn’t have the official record breaking adjuication like what they need, after all, Roy Castle is dead, no records have been broken since his death. Not one.
but we can set an ‘unofficial’ one.
We started eating, varying technicques. I was going for one at a time, there was cramming them all in and having them in batches going on too.
But it’s not nice. the cracker sucks out ALL the saliva from your mouth meaning you cannot chew, and swallowing is impossible. It probably goes without saying that water is not allowed.
After the minute was up I had the whole first one in my mouth, but even without Roy Castle I knew I’d failed.