I think I have just solved the worlds obesity crisis with an invention that is possibly my best since the hoverbath.
Sugar is the key, we eat to much, kids get fat, they die.
We don’t need this much sugar, oh no… but we like it. Why? Because tongues are stupid evil things – we put all that sugar in our belly just to satisfy the taste buds on the tongue like some fat squalid King demanding the sugar.
The proper way to deal with this is to eat lentils and salads and train the tongue not to crave sugary tastes.
Or, use a Sugar Filter. The filter would be a device that sits at the back of the throat permanently, possibly tattooed in place and all the food that gets eaten passes through, the filter then using magic and science together extracts all the sugar (and potentially other bad things if you buy the deluxe version). this means that only the good shits goes into your belly, you don’t get fat and kids will never die again
I am like a latter day Jesus.
The unwanted sugar can be discharged by a small tube in the neck, this may seem unsightly at first, but soon everyone will have them, it’ll be like having a nose, or a bluetooth headset – the first people to have them looked like wankers, but now we don’t notice them (even though they still do).
This waste sugar can then be used to power cars, or make socks or something.
So, I need a Dragons Den style backer and a magician/scientist to make the magic/science bit work – we can split 50/50.
thank you