A few months ago there was an incident in my flat. A teaspoon got stuck in the blades of the potato peeler. It was a fairly fraught 20 minutes as we tried to free it. Dawn being convinced that her expensive peeler was ruined, me knowing that if everyone followed my techinque of leaving teaspoons in the sink then this horrible dish rack catastrophe could have been avoided.
The spoon was wrestled free and the potato peeler survived with only minor disfigurement and it still works but now not only peels the potato, but slightly maims it too.
I’m surprised none of this hit the news.
I was thinking about this today as I was eating my healthy pudding of blackberries, banaa and orange in greek yoghurt with a bit of honey (I’m on another fitness campaign, to do with belly/Torture Garden + Rubber). but every mouthful I ate made me grimace a little, not from the delicious flavours of the fruit, but because this spoon was the victim of the genocidal potato peeler attack, it’s time held hostage in the blades like a latter day Terry Waite and the subsequent freedom operation had caused the sides of the spoons to grind against the blade, this spoon is now unnecessarilysharp, so every time I draw it out of my mouth it tries to take a bit of lip with it.
I am doing this night shift malarky, my days are currently spent watching telly and feeling tired – this is the most interesting thing that happened today – a spoon.
Help me