FRINGE FLU
I’m getting it, I promised I would eat healthily, but so far I have just eaten kebabs (which I never eat in London), pasta and pizza.
My throat is sore, by nose is bungy and I feel like shit, I slept in but I’m feeling horrible. If there was some kind of god tonight’s show would be full of both Pulp and Terry Saunders’ fans (not sure there are any of the latter) who are hanging on my every word and laughing at every point I wish despite the fact that I’m doing little more than reading the words from my mind through my hideous flu-y head, or fluey head – a head like a chinmney flue.
Actually they were not either type of fans, they were a slightly spread out quiet audience who seemed to be enjoying the show and enduring my runny nose.
But not a great show. I went on with a hot cup of water, or a cup of hot water and proceeded at the top of the show to pour some lemsip powder into it to concoct a healthy lemsip drink. Then I came out with the best line I have ever made up (and possibly anyone has ever made up) in comedy after asking if anyone had a spoon, when the reply came as no I proffered “When I started comedy the audience would always turn up with a full set of cutlery”
No one laughed, maybe this is why I’m getting average reviews.
I swirled it round and took a sip, it worked a bit and I strode into the first part of the show proper. I have learnt the lesson this year and last that in long shows it is god to take a sip of drink on the big laughs, thus not breaking the flow of what I’m saying. I thought this technique would come in handy today for my lemsip.
Unfortunaltey the show was quiet, they were listening and, I think, enjoying, but not laughing much, and all the lines that et big laughs normally didn’t, so I never got to drink and more lemsip.
Then when I finished I swallowed it all… It was cold
urgh
Hello there,
Myself and my girlfriend were in the front row on the 11th – really enjoyed the show, I laughed, I was touched, I nearly cried (well almost) – beautiful.
I see it didn’t make enough of an impression on you to get its own blog entry, but I’ll let that go since you seem like such a nice man.
ps, you don’t look anything like you do in the photos – was that something to do with the flu or the lemsip?