I’m certainly not the first in the world to suffer from insomnia, but on those long lonely nights I may as well be the only one.
Last night was such a night, after an initial normal head hitting pillow dose I woke up at about 2am. Then mind racing about everything under the sun, then a few things above the sun, and finally some of the hot things in the sun, before going back over what was under the sun to make sure I’d not missed anything.
By 5am I was just annoyed, and annoyance is one of the things guaranteed to keep someone awake. They should put annoyance in Boosts, and not stupid gurana, then you could sell Boosts to children outside schools, in tiny shops on street corners.
These are the kind of racing (not racy) thoughts I had.
But seemingly, sleep was about to hit me, I could relax. And then my bladder decided it wanted some of the action, I needed to pee, but this is normal, I was scared that it would wake me up too much, but I couldn’t hold it in, holding it in was waking me up too much.
So I got up and went, eyes shut and light off to avoid waking up.
But then my bladder started to hurt… this is odd, I felt like I needed to go again, so I did, but I couldn’t. But it hurt. Pain is one of the things guaranteed to keep someone awake.
I knew what I had to do, drink lots of water to pee through the pain. Drinking lots of water is something guaranteed to etc.
So I was awake for another couple of hours, now adding health concerns to the list of things under the sun, a list that I started from scratch again.
By 6.30 I could sleep
And I slept well
Then got woken up by an important phone call at eight.
Then a day at work from 12… not so great. And made worse by the fact that the last thing about insomnia that I remember watching was an old Newman & Baddiel in pieces episode I watched where Baddiel was lamenting about his insomnia. So I spent my day feeling so tired I was sick and panicky, but also depressed that I had something in common with David fucking Baddiel…