In some ways its hard enough coming to terms with the fact that at the age of 25 I’m stuck in the flat on my own with no money and nothing to do on the night of Children In Need. Watching all these faux celebrities pretending to be jolly and then somber whenever a leukemia riddled kid is shown on a screen.
My credit card has only £2 on it, if I was to donate that to charity I’d find it hard to give it to one that decides to murder Queens songs.
I’ve been trying to avoid BBC1 all night, and have mostly been lucky, after realising how much Pudsey makes me notice the sheer extent for my hatred for the world I found an old Two Ronnies repeat and laughed loudly in that way that is rare with most TV. And then, as if to prove myself wrong almost immediately I watched Peep Show and laughed lots, even applauding briefly in my room on my own when it was over. I soon stopped and no one need know.
I was in to do some work tonight, I have a new show thing to write and I’ve not really written any of it. this gulf had to be met.
I’ve done everything to avoid it, I’ve cleaned the flat I’ve made a big meal, I even convinced myself that I wanted to watch Children in Need for about 4 hours.
But by midnight, £17 million pounds had been raised by the BBC, I in turn had heated up some food from last night and had a wank. again I had to bridge that gulf.
I set to work. well, I didn’t, in fact I decided to write my name on the new notebook I had today bought in Paperchase, within which I was planning of containing notes for my new show thing. Therefore I had to get the writing on the front right. I decided to use a big black marker pen that I had seen somewhere in my room only days before.
But I couldn’t remember where. It was most annoying. I ransacked my entire room ,fully aware that this pen, nor the type of writing of my name on the front of my new notebook was remotely important, just a way to avoid having to think about work.
I hereby prove myself wrong. In this moment of furied ransacking I found both my hat and my nail clippers (my nail clippers rather embarrassingly being in the pot I keep my pens, and have presumably been there for months…and my hat was in the pile of clothes I thought it might be).
I did not find the pen, so I used a biro.
Then I did some work
I did succeed in my night.
Fuck you Pudsey