The Cat Food

After the critical acclaim of my beef stew “Stewpendous” – Lloyd Grossman, Masterchef.

And the majesty of my Thai Green Curry – “Delightful” – Fern Britton, formerly of Ready Steady Cook.

Last night I failed with what I can only describe as cat food. “Disgusting” – Dr Hans Zakoff, formerly of Nasa.

I’m skint and had to do one of those everything in the cupboard meals. I had pasta and a tiny amount of red pesto sauce.

There was not enough pesto to cover a mealsworth of pasta.

I improvised a bit by adding some milk and tomato puree to make it stretch further.

And some basil.

I cooked the pasta, most of it sticking to the pan and the water hideously overboiling as the electric hob rammed heat through the cheap flimsy saucepan base..

I shook the jar to mix the wonderous pesto, tomato puree and milk mix.

this was not going to be as good as my curry.

Oh dear.

I mixed it all together, it didn’t look like much of a meal.

So I added half a tin of tuna, then shoved in the rest of the tin, now in the mix it looked like red sloppy diahorrea tuna.

MMM

I sat down to eat it.

It was catfood, horrible nasty meal of tuna shite.

Tomorrow I borrow money and eat like a king*

*of a very poor country.