I’m obsessed with my reflection, though I don’t believe this is down to vanity, I think just a fascination from childhood that I’ve never shaken off that it is me there. Like a cat forced to look into a mirror won’t realise that its its own reflection staring back.
But every time I walk past a plate glass window, a car door or a pond I take a look at the image of me walking by. Usually in a kind of sheer amazement “oh, that’s what I look like” somehow always surprised, yet obviously always knowing what to expect.
It is for the same reason that I am petrified of having my mobile phone stolen. It has a camera thingy on it as most do these days. When I am sat bored on my sofa, which is currently more often than I like, I tend to take pictures of myself with it, looking at my digitised reflection in the screen as I pull funny faces or try to look sombre. Again this is not vanity, I don’t hear the little shutter sound, wait a second then get physically aroused at the still me, nor do I wow myself at such an attractive face. I take these pictures mainly to relive tedium and otherwise just to check.
Maybe I’m just checking that I’ve not undergone some kind of Michael Knight plastic surgery and have no recollection. It’s an often used filmic technique… the full plastic surgery, unravelling the bandages to reveal the new (and unbruised/scarred) face. There is always a bit of face touching (which I reckon would hurt so soon after surgery) and then the character just gets used to their new face.
I’d be livid.
This is probably why I am not called to right the world’s wrongs, too much time looking in the mirror, yet would make me perfect to be a Hollywood actor. Oh the irony.
The reason I mention all this though is that today I did notice something different in my reflection. A paunch. A word I’ve never used to describe myself before. But walking home from work I looked to the usual left of an office block and i had a paunch, the entire midsection of my body seems to have grown outwards a bit.
I’ve been joking about being a bit unfit of late…. but a paunch? This is not good, not good at all. I’m going to have to do some serious not eating of homemade chips.