I don’t normally suffer from insomnia, though quite often I will say that I do, just to excuse being late or tired in situations where being late or tired is frowned upon.
But, like the boy who cried wolf (who is famed for having a bad sleeping pattern) I have proper full on, actual insomnia right now. I go to bed at a normal time and fall asleep.
Within about an hour I’m awake. And now properly fully actually awake. That kind of awake when you don’t like being awake merely due to its inherent awakeness. Very awake.
So awake in fact that my brain can’t stop thinking of utterly inconsequential shit. I’m not lying here sorting out the worlds problems, but in fact getting to the end of a long and wildly complicated train of thought.
And the train of thought itself is utterly pointless. It ends with me trying to work out what words I’d use in a savage speech in court to attack the worlds media
The train of thought starts with me working out what it would be like to sleep with a celebrity. No one in particular, but we’re talking a proper one, not a reality TV star or a weather girl, but a proper Hollywood A-list type.
This bit was nice, if I’d have fallen asleep soon after I’d have been happy and probably not written up a notblog about it.
But fall asleep I did not. My mind raced on, past the fun messy bit right to one day waking up to find the world’s paparazzi outside my flat in Angel. I was pissed off (in my mind) and so shut all the curtains.
One of the papasgotabrandnewbagazzi then climbed up a ladder and peeked through my window. I turned around in anger and flashed my willy at him, thus shocking him and making him fall off ladder to broken armness.
And then (in my mind) he sued me, and I ended up in court making a savage attack on the world’s media and using phrases like “just because I stuck it in to a celebrity, who’d have though that the same part of my body would land me in court.”
WHY CAN’T I FUCKING SLEEP?