As ever I’m a bit skinty.
Today’s trip to Sainsbury’s was to be an exercise in as buying as much for as little as possible. But also an exercise in buying fruit and veg as I’m feeling quite ill and unhealthy.
If you’re skint then you, like me, will have probably trained your eyes to look out for the little orange reduced stickers (yellow and fancily printed in Tesco’s) in your peripheral vision.
This happened as I walked in to the Tottenham Court Road (Warren St end) branch my eyes radar alerted me of an orange sticker to my left.
It was on some Gladioli, I’d never really looked at Gladioli before, they looked quite cool. The actual price was £1.49, a special offer had them down to 99p. and the reduced sticker now had them at 49p.
49p for some flowers? But flowers are an expensive preserve for the middle classes?
I’ll have me some of them.
So I did, the checkout lady almost put them through at a pound, probably thinking I was middle class or something, I informed her I grew up in a council flat and she gave me a wink and took the 50p off.
I hurried home, eager to plant my flowers.
I got home, realised they don’t get planted they get vased.
I haven’t got a vase.
Um
I had to improvise. And used a big old water bottle (sawing the end off with a steak knife). If anything it felt a bit on the flimsy side, maybe I should put some decorative pebbles in the bottom to weigh it down a little.
I don’t have any decorative pebbles, I don’t even have any ugly ones.
Soon after it becomes apparent that I’ve failed. This is why I’ll never be middle class, why is everything so hard?
Then Dawn points out that the weight of the water should be sufficient. It is.
So now they’re on my desk, they make me happy. I’m thinking of Papier Macheing the bottle to make it look nice.
The bitter irony of the disney circle of life, however, is that sitting down with my new flowers (well, sticks) I notice outside on the balcony that the Potato triffid is dying.
But I have a new toy now
Die triffid
die.