Today I found myself back in Top Man. I still need a bag. I’ve been through every charity and second hand shop in London. there must be some kind of national bag shortage.
What I was after was the kind f record bag that EVERYONE had about 5/6 years ago. They have probably all disintegrated.
So I went to Top Man to buy my £25 bag on my credit card.
The bag is still nice. I think I deserve buying something.
I pick it up and join the queue.
Now, I’ve not handed over any kind of debit/credit card in a shop for amny many years. I’m getting a bit panicky. These days they have Chip and PIN, I’m ok with this. I have my PIN number, I know what to do, I often stare over people’s shoulder in wonderment as they use them.
Only Top Man have to go and complicate things. They have mounted their little card readers on the counter, righti n front of you. what is the etiquette?
I know that normally you hand the card over and they put it in the Chip and PIN machine and pass it too you to type it in. But now it’s just here when they say the price do you just plonk it in. That feels a little rude to stand in front of a lady and just plonk it in without being asked.
There is quite a queue though, so I figure I can observe the others and their techniques before I get there.
Rather unbelievably (but wholly accurately) not one of them pays by card. Of the seven people in front of me they all pay by cash, this is Top Man on a sunday. This is where evil banks cripples teenagers by making them but lots of horrible identical “urban” clothes on credit.
So why is it just me with a card.
One guy left in front of me, he opens his wallet. Takes out a card, phew.
It’s not a chip and PIN one. NO.
So up I go, I’m more nervous than when I do a gig. I don’t know what to do.
I hand the bag (and cheapo necklace thing that I also got) over. She scans them in, I wonder if I would have gotten away with hiding the neckalce in the bag as I originally thought, but they have trained their staff well and she checks the pockets.
“That’ll be £29.00 please”
Here we go.
“I’ve got one of these ones, do I just put it in?”
Smooth. Christ I hate myself.
But she is used to my fumblings, the card goes in…it blinks a bit. Then says “Remove card”. She unceremoniously takes the card from the reader and swipes it through a hidden thingy on her side. A recipt comes out for me to sign.
I must have failed the Chip and PIN test.
But I have a bag.