My childlike nostalgia of my childhood tells me that Spiders, Daddy Long Legs and Moths are out to scare me from around September onwards. The summer months are reserved for the catepillars, Butterflies and weird shit.
Am I right, or wrong… I have no idea. But I know that right now, in the 21st Century as the heat is building up for summer these little shits are out to freak me right now.
Is it Global warming, or is my memory just shit?
Tonight, myself and Dawn were sat on our sofa getting all nostalgic, not thinking about what Daddy Long Legs were like in the old days, but by watching The Box of Delights…word of warning for anyone who thinks that they might want to watch this eighties childrens programming classic… The first couple of episodes are seriously great and VERY scary. Then it just gets shit. I know it’ll be impossible, but just stop watching after about an hour. Trust me.
It was nice to sit and watch something, if only because I’d spent the day tidying my room, it was gleaming, all except for leaving the hoover in there becuas I can never be bothered to put it away.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw something moving, it wasn’t a couple having their first kiss or a child being born or a deer taking it’s first steps. It was something actually moving. The only two things registered to be allowed to move of their own accord in the room at the time were myself and my flatmate Dawn. Nothing else should be there.
So either this was a tiny alien craft. Or an insect. I scanned the room only to ifnd it was a Daddy Long Legs, or a crane fly depending on how posh you are.
You may recall that I don’t much like Daddy Long Legs and that last year they were definitely around in June. I got scared. It was time to kill. Yes, I may have saved a spider, but these things are evil, and given a chance can probably kill.
All lights went on and we scanned the room, it had gone. But it must have been there somewhere. Dawn opened all the windows hoping it would fly out in it’s haphazard way that would be cute if it was the flying style of say, a koala. But I was scared that it would just be an easy way to send it fasands and fasands of em, like say, zulus.
We saw it again, then it disappeared to near the window. Had it gone out the window, or was it an ambush?
It stayed gone for a very long time. Box of Delights was rewound a bit and then, on Patrick Troughtons face… a daddy long legs… I knew it, back in the eighties they’d been around near Christmas. Then I realsied that shooting commitments would have probably meant they filmed it in summer. And then I realised that it wans’t on his face BUT ON THE SCREEN.
Lights on. I had a trainer in one hand and the other over my mouth (just in case it attacked) it flew at me, i dropped the trainer, it landed on the power switch of the hoover… as the daddy long legs got nearer I heard whatI could only presume was its war cry, I was right THEY ARE EVIL. I screamed (yes I actually screamed) and ran away.
Dawn and other flatmate Ariadne laughed, I discovered that it wasn’t the evil banshee daddy long legs but the hoover and I turned it off.
But it may have won the battle, but I won the war. As it is currently squished and drying on my wall. FUCK YOU DADDY LONG LEGS.