I am, by most accounts, a bit of a skinny chap. I’m not a breathe in and oops there’s his rib cage. But the fat surrounding me is there to do its job. If you got close enough you could pinch a surprsing amount of midriff betwixt your tum and forefinger. But hopefully you won’t get that close. If you’ve read this and then decide to try and get that close, please inform me as for why, otherwise I’ll be really scared. Whereas someone wanting to grab me becuase they’ve read my notblog is just mostly scary.
I go on health crazes and fads like the best of us. Well, I don’t. Not fads as such. But certainly I have moments when I feel unhealthy and try to rectify it as soon as possible.
Last year I went through a pahse of going swimming, lifting weights and eating fruit. I was actually getting quite fit. But then, around the time of Glastonbury/split.sad I gave it all up, as I did with this very notblog
But the notblog is back…and so is something far worse. I ran for a bus today and felt a slight (everso slight but definitely there) wobble in the man breast area.
Honestly, it wasn’t there the day before, my gradual weight increase, brought on be eating chocolocate and drinking lots of beer and eating crisps over the last few months has been tipped over the edge by the couple of ounces needed to make me otherwise shimmering pectoral flange have just enough weight to be attracted by gravity and not held pristinely against my chest.
I’m scared.
As an emergency measure (a code yellow alert) I have decided for two weeks to abstain completey from all booze, smoking, crisps, chocolate and masterbation.
I shall also eat more fruit and sald. And walk to work.
Place your bets as to how long I last…