London buses to me are now one of the bigger games you can play in the capital. As I’m sure I’ve already mentioned, my main local bus route into town is the 73. What until a few months ago used to be and old fashioned hop on, hop off, hold on to whilst wearing rollerskates if you’re Frank Spencer type affair. But now they are super uber modern mercedes bendy buses.
I mean, the fact that the offical name from Transport for London is Bendy Bus hardly feels me with job, what next, the tumbling tube, the cornering cabbie, or the twisted tarnished terrifying trains… oh, they already exist.
The best thing about the bendy buses is that you don’t have to pay. Well, you’re supposed to, but the point is that you get on at any of the three doors, and no one checks your ticket.
It’s based, ridiculously, on an archaic system called trust.
Occasionally they send out squadrons of ticket inspectors, sometimes backed up with the dreaded BTP. But, if you’re quick enough you can get off before they catch you (and whenever they do board watch as at least a third, but more like half, of the people on the bus at any one time scarper). but the inspectors only tend to be about during peak times.
Some bus drivers, however, are cunts. For the last two nights, walking home the final stretch from Kings Cross to my flat a 73 has gone past and the cunt has opened only the front doors, no sneaking on. how dare he try to ensure that the transport system doesn’t collapse under dishonest travellers.
On saturday night, I was very cold, but made it home. Last night after the Laughing Horse gig in Richmond I was truly knackered. The bus stopped, he opened only front door, I waved him on with sneer.
Two other buses went by, they were old fashioned and unsneakable.
I made it to nearly home before I remembered that I’d just been to Richmond, to get to Richmond I had to take a tube and a train. To get on the tube and a train I had to buy a travelcard.
Travlecards are also valid on…
buses… I am an idiot…serves me right I guess
DISCLAIMER: This notblog is a work of entire fiction if you have anything to do with the bus servce/tfl/ticket inspecting or anything similar.