What with love crisis, worrying life (possibly mid) crisis and me always making a drama out of a crisis I found myself in goth club last night. Not normally like me, at least wasn’t a while ago, but in my mid twenties I’ve suddenly realised that in my teens I wanted to be a goth, but (ironnically) they wouldn’t have me. In one way I was more of a goth than them, being an outcast outsider … even the goths rejected me.
So here i am in 2005 dressing up and going to these places where everyone is either a teenager or old. I feel curiously out of place yet again. And the thing is, being a comedian is normally a good way to talk to people. “What do you do?” “I’m a comedian” always gets a woo, and interest, a flirt or a wow. But in a goth club, being someone who makes people laught is a positively bad thing. They don’t like it, I’m some kind of enemy. So on the whole during the nightI didn’t really talk to many people.
I like to say that I enjoyed myself, but frankly, I don’t think I did. I didn’t have a bad time, but not so much a good one as I’m now sat here nursing a hangover and an empty wallet.
At one point I did meet and chat to one person, a girl who looked like someone I once knew, I said hello thinking it was her. But it wasn’t. She was an attractive girl with an odd hat, she’d just arrived . We went our seperate ways and carried on.
Now, the place isn’t a big place and for the next hour or so I didn’t see her at all. I thought this was odd. Then a while later I saw her again. I said hello I asked her where she’d been…and this is where the story gets a little weird. …
She sad she’d been in the toilet “taking her drugs” I asked what she meant and she told me she’d spent the last hour injecting acid, ecstacy and speed. Whoa. She said she was feeling a little stoned… A LITTLE?
I was a bit freaked. but we carried on chatting, well I carried on chatting she was wafting away the ostriched shaped man behind me…not an acid refernce, just people wear weird things to goth clubs.
She then tells me she is a transexual. Or that she had the op 20 years ago and is now fully woman. and she indeed is fully woman, and very attractive at that. I’m no expert, but I wouldn’t have guessed , and indeed didn’t that she was born a man.
So I ask her what kind ofthings she’s into. Firstly, making hats… very feminine. Then bondage and threesomes…gothy and a bit feminie. nope, this person has no traits at all of being a man.
Then she betrays the sisterhood. I ask her what else she likes and she says “Playing Dungeons and Dragons.”
Yep, definitely a man.