Right, I’ve been in my flat since the start of October, and I’ve only really just noticed that my washing machine is a bit on the shit side. It whirs and goes round and fills and empties with water at ease. But it doesn’t seem to actually wash things properly.
I’m out of clothes, the hectic lifestyle of me this week has meant that actually my clothes have just been building up into a pile of dirty washing that is starting to give off a slight whiff. In the old days it was just a slight whiff…but since watching the occasional episode (and I mean occasional, I don’t tape it each week and watch them back on endless repeat…I don’t, I DON’T) of “How Clean Is Your House” I know that the smell is bacteria and skin and shit and fijis.
So I put the washing on with my last two Sainsburys washing tablets. Tablet? These are apparently so much easier than scooping out a bit of powder…what is the world coming to – you (and me) lazy fucks.
In the washing machine it all went and I happily went away in just my lion cloth (all I had left), not a loin cloth, I haven’t got one of those and it was a typo. Roar.
I put the washing out to dry and the next morning chose some of my lovely clean clothes for work.
At my work desk I noticed I could smell something. I looked at my favourite blue jumper which I was wearing, the stain on the shoulder that showed me last time I wore it that I should have washed it told me that something was wrong. I gave it a sniff…
It wasn’t clean. Nothing was. The washing machine had carried on being a machine, but neglected to do the washing. What good is that?
I got home to find the two tablets still in the drawer, all mushy, but not used. Now I had no washing powder and lots of smelly, dirty clothes hanging up all over the flat. At least the smell has dissipated a bit.