I am truly and horrifically skint, we are not talking a bit short on cash, but any cash I get is immediately not mine, various organisations take it away before I get a sniff.
But this week I have about sixty pounds nestling in my account, it’s not mine, by Friday it will have whizzed off to pay some more debts…by Friday.
Today is Tuesday, feeling pretty bad after a heavy weekend amongst other things. There is a new Richard Pryor DVD out, I like Richard Pryor, at least, I think I like his stand up, never really seen it, I grew up knowing him as the crazy one from Stir Crazy, in fact, I can remember my mum getting me a Richard Pryor live video from the rental shop because she knew how much I’d enjoyed See No Evil Hear NO Evil where he played a crazy blind guy.
So we sit in the living room (I am about 12 years old) and on comes Mr Pryor saying Hey you muthafuckas. And it carries on, the comedy was lost on me, not only because of my age, but because I could feel the embarrassment of my mum.
That has since scarred my Richard Pryor knowledge.
But I’ve heard some stuff recently, I’ve heard too many people say he’s the best stand up ever.
And this DVD is supposed to be good.,
But I can’t afford it.
So I decide to play a game…
If it is between £10 and £15, then I shall purchase.
If it is between £15 and £20, then I shall seriously think about it
If it is £20 or over then there is no way I shall buy it.
I get to Virgin on my lunch. There is a announcement thing advertising the very DVD I am after. This either means it will be cheap or very expensive.
Oddly, I cannot find it anywhere. I head upstairs, it is not in the TV DVD section, or the comedy section. Can’t find a Stand up section.
Aha, there it is, and there is the DVD. With no price.
I go to the till, the ,moment of truth, I ask the lady how much it is. She scans it, it beeps, a figure comes up on the screen…
£13.99
I buy it.
Then feel guilt.
I have kept the receipt.
His arm had definitely receded. but was still trying to lay some claim on the back chair area. I was moving back to try and make him look like he was trying to hug me.
He retreated, but, dagnammit, he managed to get his arm on the armrest. This was the second battle I tried to squeeze him out, but he was fit and having not of it against my scrawny body.
It was over too soon, I was due to get off at Baker Street, only two stops away. But I was severely tempted to stay on. Then, to my sheer delight he was getting off too. I prayed he would heading towards the Jubilee Line too…he was.
I let him get on the carriage, then I sat next to him AND claimed the armrest. I had won.
I am better.