Ok, more single worries.
Basically I have realised that this relationship ending has allowed me to bring a kind of mid life crisis forward a few years, this may mean I get to fit in two.
I have a beard. It is a lovely beard (See the Michael Palin section if you don’t believe me). I also have big hair, I quite like this hair, though it is getting almost mullety at the back (not in a trendy way, and for the record I hate the trendy mullet too).
To keep up with my getting extremely fit and having pecs and everything I really need a good haircut, a proper actual good haircut that is trendy (but not with a mullet), at least this is what I’ve been told.
The beard also has to go, it’s been a longstanding theory of mine that beards and dating don’t go well. Essentially people don’t get lucky if they have a beard (male or female).
Basically habitual beard wearers are often perpetually single.
I know what you’re thinking, you’re thinking that you all know someone with a beard who IS in a relationship, but I put it to you that when they entered that relationship the beard wasn’t there. They have to be gotten used to, as mine was…I was told not to have it at first, but it grew on me, and eventually her until it got to the stage that I wasn’t allowed to shave.
So the beard has to go.
But what about the hair, I am skint and do not trust a Mr. Toppers £5 £6 haircut, not after the last time when I looked like a gay army captain.
Then Dawn told me about Vidal Sassoon, not only do they make V05, but also they do hair cutting apparently. They also have a creative school.
At this place you basically go in and let them do whatever they want as they are learning, and you only pay about a fiver.
So I have made an appointment, I’m even getting it coloured. Next Thursday…
This could be a big big mistake. Now I’m scared.