Up until today I always believed that migraines were just the ultimate in a list of reasons to chuck sickies. No one can disprove a migraine and there are no outward symptoms.
In fact when I was a child almost all of my friends parents used to use this excuse for not having me round for tea.
It’s no wonder I’ve grown up to be a comedian.
Last night we went to see Shaun of The Dead (highly highly recommended, go see) and I ate what is probably an illegal amount of popcorn, both salty and sweet, but mainly salty. To accompany this I had half a swig of water, so this morning when I woke up with a bad headache I presumed that it was just slight dehydration.
But the more water I drank it got worse, became a blinding pain behind my eye. I had to just sit down for a while and drink water ( but it hurt, this is what japanese water torture is, except it’s a pain behind slightly slanted… no, I won’t go there, I am not Jim Davidson, but see how I still put enough of the gag there so maybe I am Jim Davidson, where’s Chalky?)
Apparently proper migraines lead to tunneling of the vision and blindness. No wonder David Blunkett’s always in a bad mood.
But mine wasn’t that bad, and after sleeping through a 1996 tape of David Baddiel trying stand up I felt a bit better.
This worries me, all my life I’ve had a complex that as a child I was unliked even by other people’s parents, this has explained my nervous character and anxiety ridden career choice of comedy.
But what if they just had migraines, I could have been an accountant by now.