The Crossword

The kitchen in this temp job has been defaced.

Not by the normal things like shite or tea stains or rotting milk or the contents of a panini.

But by an advert disguising itself as a crossword.

Some cunt has put up this huge crossword poster. It is big; already I know it’s a gimmick. There is an IBM logo in the corner.

I read the blurb;

“No one person can complete this crossword, but by working as a team… etc” I defaced the wall with some vomit.

I would like to think that people would look at this and scoff as I did (maybe some even to retch or puke). Surely no one falls for this crap.

And secondly, I would like to be able to prove them wrong by completing the crossword on my own therefore rendering the blurb useless and wasting billions of pounds of IBM money on teamworking software things.

I would post the crossword back to Mr IBM and prove tat one person can do this crossword and demand a public apology.

But I can’t – my brain doesn’t like crosswords. It refuses to work them out. I usually know the answers, but given the constriction of letters needed my brain goes blank.

Later in the day I enter the kitchen to find three people discussing the crossword in a trying to solve it way.

Pah teamwork. They have fallen for the marketing tricks. Idiots. Haha, IBM has made them work together as a team to complete a perceived goal. losers

I can’t resist a peek, so when the kitchen is empty I pop in. I hate to say it, but I’m slightly impressed, it’s nearly complete. This teamwork thing could catch on.

The annoying squeaky woman comes in. she sees me looking, she presumes that I am trying to do the crossword. She suggests a couple of answers. Hearing her voice grate through my eardrums means I tend to gloss over her actual words so I just agree.

“Oh, it doesn’t fit”

“Pardon”

“Too many letters. What else cold it be?” I am tempted to fill in all the blank spaces with just random letters to see if a) anyone notices, or b) anyone ties to correct it.

She asks me again. I tell her I haven’t the brain for crosswords. She looks sorry and says “that’s ok.”

I’m not apologising for the fact that I prefer to read a book or something. So I just made a face behind her back
Teamwork…