I had a bag of chips today. Well, actually, a cone of chips. It’s the first time I’ve had such a delight in a while. From a small chippie just off Goodge St. sausage in batter included for only £2.30 ((with tomato sauce sachet)
The problem I have is this – I like vinegar. Lot’s of it to adorn my chips, and a fair amount of salt too.
This was one of those chips shops where you are allowed to add your own salt and vinegar after purchase. You’d think, that me being someone that likes more than an average amount, would be leaping for joy at the prospect of applying my own s&v (as they call it in the trade, which trade I don’t know)
But no. it invariably causes more problems than it’s worth.
When the chip shop man puts the s&v on it is applied before the chips are wrapped, thus ensuring an even distribution amongst the chips. So whilst not quite as much of the s&v as I would like (by the way, never ask for extra s&v, chip shop owners profits rely on giving out a set amount of s&v, tamper with this and you can wreck their livelihood. You will then notice that if you see someone (please don’t let it be you) asking for extra s&v the chip shop man will put on a quantity so huge than the chips are ruined. Yes this will impact on his profit, but that person will never ask for extra s&v again).
But this new modern hippy arrangement, being allowed to liberally apply my own s&v (like hippy parents who give their children porn and drugs knowing tat they’ll soon get bored) I put on the exact right amount for my needs. The problem lies in the fact that the chips had already been wrapped into a conical format. So all of the s&v hits the tops layer of pomme frites, but little seeps through to the bottom.
By the time I got to the lower depths of my cone I was far from chippie and had no extra vinegar at my disposal. The chips were inedible and I was forced to throw them into a bin.
So a little like sex, having it on tap doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll always get moist, and, er…salty