It’s my friday night off.
All week I’ve been planning this. To get home and have a gorgeous bath and a curry (no, not in the bath, obviously I wouldn’t use that gag, it’s far too obvious, I would maybe just point out to everyone that thought I was going to do a gag about having curry in the bath that you are wrong and will never be anyone in comedy*)
On my lunch break it occurred to me that at the flat there is no bubble bath. Now, one can easily have a bath with no bubbles. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, legend has it that Michael Jackson used to refuse bubbles – hahaha. Sorry, I had to do the Jackson/Bubbles gag. And of course, he would never have refused bubbles, so I subverted the joke. I am a funny man.
In Boots the Chemist I studied the wide range of bubble bath on the shelf. Normally I’m a Radox man. But I felt that I deserved a reward this week so I upped my budget to £2.99 and bought some new Imperial Leather double bottle stuff . One compartment has bath milk (where are the nipples) and the other has bath oil. The bottle states that “The two different liquids magically transform to release a rich, bubbly lather – even before you add any water!”.
It’s fair to say that I was excited.
The water was running, the plug was in. I unscrewed the cap and started to pour. The two liquids hit the water and made a stunningly average bubble bath lather – there was no mixing on the way down and no magical transformation.
It rather ruined my bath.
And the bubbles didn’t last long.
I spent an hour in there, almost in tears. And then, when I got out I only had a stinky towel – so much for my night off.
*Unless you are someone in comedy already, then my humblest apologies Sir or Madam, and can I have a gig?