Today I have been spending my time being tired. Last night I was up until three after the gig, then remembered that I had to leave the house this morning at eight. Shortly after this I remembered that I’ve got another East London gig tonight and that I’ll be really tired tomorrow. So I shouldn’t’ have stayed up on the internet when my bed was calling.
This is how tired I am. Firstly, I thought my bed was calling when it is an inanimate object incapable of any noise generation, and if it did it would have a brain capacity so small that there would be no way it could recognise different object, assign names and then use those names as a way of catching the objects attention. After all, it’s only a double. A king size mind you is much cleverer and can read poetry. Of course a queen size has the best sheets, a single is lonely, a divan is a bit thick (div? forget it) and the camper bed gets on too well with the Queen.
I am tired.
Also, into work late, as per usual. I’d woken up late and decided to save time by not showering or cleaning any part of me in any way (I know, irgh – if you see me in the street please pointedly hold your nose and look away. Though I won’t be putting this interweb until tonight, so if you’ve read this and see me in the street it won’t be at least until tomorrow, and I’ll probably be clean, so the joke’s on you holding your nose at a clean man. You’re a divan you are.
I sheepishly sat at my desk at ten past nine, trying not to make eye contact and to look like I’d been there ten minutes earlier (no mean feat, and I failed horribly). It wasn’t until 10 that I left the desk to use the toilet and make tea. In the toilet mirror I looked at myself for the first time today.
My hair was literally on a different planet.
I should correct my use of the word literally, obviously my hair was not on another planet, I was trying to sound fancy to imply that my hair was a comical mess.
In fact it was still on my head, and I was still on Earth, it’s unlikely that my hair would be in a different post code, unless I lay down on the boundary (but you got to watch out for people trying to cross from NW1 to NW5 illegally).
No, it was just sticking up in all funny and was in WC1 with me, but I must have looked live a right camper bed.