My current temp job working for a finance firm is boring me more than if I had the three Lord Of The Rings films on a constant loop inside my eyes.
I am not suited for the accountancy life. I’d rather be a lion tamer, or something.
Words really cannot describe the dullness of the place. It’s gotten so bad that sometimes I make myself fart just so I can giggle under my breath. I’ve found myself taking an inordinate amount of toilet breaks and am smoking 20 fags a day just to get away. There is also a no internet policy, and the two bosses desks are positioned so that they have a direct line of vision with my monitor. Subsequently I have to open up the smallest internet window possible and squint at the lack of emails.
And they (understandably) don’t like me either – with my dishevelled beard and hair and unironed shirts, I’m always at least ten minutes late – and I’m not an accountant. Which means that most of the things they ask me to do are way over my head (I always give it a go though – think I’ve fucked up their March forecast – saved over the wrong file – but I’ve not told them – I might get in trouble)
It’s hard to find the words that adequately describe my 9-5 hell But today I found something that I think sums up the place perfectly…
These people use up biros. Have you ever seen a biro that has been completely used up? I’m not talking nearly empty here, but every last drop has been squeezed out – the writing must have been cutting out towards the point of illegibility towards the end, but no, they carried on until all of the inexpensive ink was gone. I have never even seen a biro that was nearly empty before today, they all get lost way before that. These things are 10p each and disposable – There was even a box of them next to the desk – how many times had this person seen the temptation of lovely juicy biros with their eager red blood seeping out but decided to stick with the record beater?
I cannot get over it.
This fact is only made sadder by the following two things… Firstly, I found this pen in the desk tidy – It is seemingly being kept as some kind of trophy for the amount of time on her hands (though I have stolen it now hahaha).
But secondly…
…there are two of them