I like to meet people in odd places. I don’t mean ladies in fetish clubs, but when I meet a friend in town I like to pick somewhere odd (like the time I agreed to meet a friend by the R section of Virgin Megastore. Only to find that I was by Rock n’ Pop, and he was at Counrty – this was in the days before mobiles, we had to write letters).

I try not to meet near landmarks or outside busy shops, as the chances are that one of us will be late and it’s much more fun waiting for someone whilst being able to browse (which is why when I know I will be late I try and make friends meet in the kickers section of Primark, and watch them get escorted out by security)

But just lately my favoustie London landmark has been the hideous statue of Freddie Mercury plonked on top of The Dominian Theatre for the hideous musical by the pen of (soon to be Sir?) Ben Elton.

The press quote states that the show should run forever as if this is fact. It isn’t and it shoudn’t.

As a child I used to be a big Queen fan. And I feel that I could still be if the other three hadn’t continually tried to flog the dead horse (and dead corpse) of Freddie Mercury. All the stuff they released after his death has been shit, they really should have gotten the hint which one had talent.

I am including “We will Rock You” duet with 5 in the shit.

But I like this statue as think it looks remarkably similar to the staue of Saddam Hussein that was infamously toppled in Iraq.

So much so that on the day this statue toppled I was only half watching the news. I heard that the statue falling signifying the end of an evil empire and that people were rejoicing in the street.

I ran out into the street to rejoice too, thinking that Ben Elton had announced that he wasn’t writing another musical. We all threw our shoes in the air until someone pointed out that his Rod Stewart musical was opening in the summer and that some dictator had been overthrown.

I went and threw my shoes at Ben Elton.

Can I have them back now please, Ben?